Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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