So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize