He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize