Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
