Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
