She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He passed out mid-signature
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
