Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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