who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
