dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
