True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
