turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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