Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
