I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
