There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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