Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
