Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
