Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
