Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You can't motorboat a personality
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize