What did we do last night that was yellow?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
