I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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