therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
