do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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