We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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