Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
