Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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