just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize