it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
