Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize