Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
