4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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