Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize