I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
