Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
