well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
