dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
