Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
