? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
