You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
