Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
