So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
