i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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