When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
