She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
