who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Terrible idea I love it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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