alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize