Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
