I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
