She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Quick, to the slutcave!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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