They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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