I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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