Kiss
Puke
oh god the rape fog is back!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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