Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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