Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my poor anus
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
