Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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