I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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