If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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