Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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