yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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